after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
