It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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