Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
