Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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