It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
