What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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