It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
