i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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