im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
