Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
