im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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