I'm so fucking centered right now
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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