It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
