Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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