I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
