I hope mine doesn't look like that
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
