I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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