I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
