the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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