The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
