I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
