I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
