I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
