And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
