No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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