I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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