Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
