Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
