there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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