just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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