She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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