I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize