its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
