i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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