Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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