I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize