i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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