Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
