I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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