o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
