it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
