I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
