When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
