why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this will be a night to untag.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
