u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
