literally had 100 drinks last night.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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