Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
