She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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