He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
