So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I know her cup size but not her name....
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