Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
