what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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