I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
