just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize