You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
