If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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