my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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